Category: family

• Apprentice

  I had to leave,

  because pieces kept falling through

  gaps of outstretched fingers, from areas

  where you began chiseling me anew.

  I had to leave,

  because eventually you placed

  a wooden handle in my palm, without worry

  of me splintering from edges frayed.

  I had to leave,

  because when I sensed your dissatisfaction,

  I turned the blade toward myself in a futile attempt

  to grasp onto your affection, or perhaps attention.

  I had to leave,

  because when you noted my willingness

  to apprentice you, your smile widened

  and your eyes darkened with a relentlessness.

  I had to leave,

  because with your saccharine direction,

  I began shaving,

  I began chipping,

  I began gouging,

  I began breaking myself.

  I had to leave,

  because when you saw the battered pile

  of the former me, unidentifiable rubble,

  your eyes went cold with the last drop of vitriol.

  We had to leave,

  because there was no more of me to destroy.

  February 28, 2024

  breakup, dating, heartbreak, love, mental health, perspective, poem, poetry, trauma

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• a joke

  it was never a joke

  when you said my friend was hot and laughed

  it was never a joke

  when you said you found someone

  it was never a joke

  when you told me she was nineteen

  the same age as me dad

  October 17, 2023

  complicated, dad, family, healing, poem, poetry, processing, relationships, trauma

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